You try to remember yesterday, one piece at a time, to figure out how you wound up here, and where here is. Nothing stands out. You went to work to pick up your check. You went to see Dan? No, you didn’t go to see Dan. You went home. Dinner? Something out of the freezer. Bars? No. Parties? No. Friends over? No. You went to sleep in your own bed. Even though you’re no closer to an answer, there’s something calming about the process. It gives you, for a few moments, the illusion of control.As you turn your head, you feel something brush against your eyelashes. A blindfold? It feels hard, leathery, and you don’t know if this should make you more or less nervous. You move to take off the mask when you realize you can’t move your arms.The reaction is almost instantaneous: your heart starts pounding, your lungs heaving. As you begin to thrash around, you feel a series of straps and handcuffs holding you down: your wrists behind your back, your ankles to the legs of the chair you’re sitting. . Say," she turned to Natalie, "is there any difference?" About size you mean?" No. No, size isn't the matter. You know. The penetration, the," she gave me a quick glance, "the *fuck*, does it feel any different..." Oh. I don't know. I hardly remember the first... It was so... clumsy. Not as when Fred f-fuck me. I was scared the whole time. I wasn't on the pill, still isn't, and I was terrified that the condom would burst or fall of or, you name it and I thought about it all the time." Oh, yes, I know what you mean. Scared, no terrified, that you should get pregnant and not only that, pregnant with the *wrong* man." Are you?" Fred asked Natalie."What?" Scared of getting pregnant by the wrong man?" Oh... I..." she swallowed the rest of her whisky and poured herself another, took a rather large sip of this one too before she answered. "No," she almost whispered. "I-I thi-ink it's hot!"Her face turned beat red and she didn't dare look at anyone."Do you think it's hot too?" Fred asked.
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